Mountains Out Of Dung-Heaps…

February 26, 2003

I was making some toast this morning and I had the TV on in the background.

Fox News was playing Robert Blake’s prelim, and I could give a shit if that turd lives or dies, but my ears pricked up when I heard the Prosecutor ask the M.E. a question about how many autopsies he’d performed.

The M.E. stated that he’d performed “4,500 autopsies, 1,000 of which were gunshot homicides…” Hmmmm….according to the anti-gun zealots, I would have guessed that the gunshot homicides would have been at least 4,499, with the 4,500th having being bludgeoned to death by a gun, or perhaps dieing from the shock of having been shown a picture of a gun.

Could our beloved anti-gun zealots be exaggerating a bit? Now, how about the anti-SUV crowd?

Ooops, there I did it…calling them a crowd. I’ve only heard five or six people talking trash about SUV’s, and here I am making them into a crowd…

See how this works?

Just In Case You Think I’m Bullshitting…

October 25, 2002

…or some kind of lying-ass pussy, you should frisk me and search my car.I am never more than a heartbeat away from a deadly weapon. I keep two guns in my car, a sneaky one, and a heavy caliber automatic, each with ten magazines and two boxes of ammo, and a magazine loader…

Machete, boot knife, badass Spyderco, brass knuckles, a two foot steel pipe…my wife keeps an automatic loaded with Glazer’s in the diaper bag…

O’course, I’m fucked if a member of the Religion O’ Peace snipes my ass from his car trunk while his teenage boyfriend (“…for pleasure, a young boy…” The Koran) sets up the shot.

Get smart, my Bruthas From Anutha Mutha, prepare to deal out death as needed… there is no safe place, anymore.

It’s 1 am, you’re half kakked, trying to get the waitress to sell you ‘jus wun more drinkie’, and some fuck-monkey throws in a grenade and opens up with two Glock .45’s…yeah, you better be ready!

… cuz I don’t want to hear all your whining from that special circle of hell reserved for wide-eyed retards.