This Blog Is Closed…

February 23, 2006

…for now, anyway. The babe at Chromed Curses fixed me up, and I’m running again. I will be back here at The Original Home Of BaneRants, with (maybe) light posting here in future. I might use this place as a mirror. Depends on how much effort I have to exert.

There’s a lot of things I like about this blog here, but the other is home, and I have it set up just the way I like it. I’ll keep the other new Blogger blog up as a spare, in case I neck-fuck the original again. Damn, I’m gonna miss this blogs categories thingy. Whatevah. I will keep an eye on the comments, here, and if anyone acts like a turd, I will moderate the comments, so behave.

Anyway, LL (Loopy Libertarian) is my new hero, and she earned her link, both here and there, with clusters. I can’t believe all the people I had try, and she does it in like ten minutes. Fucking genius.

Too bad she’s such a bitch…

Vote With Your Feet…

February 22, 2006

Well, right now, I’ve got hardly any voters at all. My traffic has died, but I know who my friends are!

So, here’s your chance. I have three blogs, as of this week, all parallel universe versions of BaneRants. Out of courtesy, I have been posting the brain-cramps that fall into my head on all three sites, for the most part.

I like WordPress, I really do. It has nice aspects. I am still not satisfied with it, and it bewilders me as yet, but I like it.

I am terribly fond of my old blogger blog. Though it vexes me, as it is a poor, broken thing. My archives went to shit, and I blame WordPress, for shitty transfer code. Yet, it is broken, and has been for some time. Still, it has my ads, and my tip jars, and the bloggy things that make me smile. WordPress’s sitemeter app is Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition, and even if I could figure out some way to display it (guess what: I can’t) I wouldn’t, because it is illogical and stupid, and doesn’t synch with any time in any known universe.

My new Blogger blog is shiny. And new. And everything works. I would have done it before I went to WordPress if I had been thinking clearly, which, obviously, I was not. It looks more Baneish than the WordPress blog, though it is austere, and looks kinda high school.

One of my dear, dear friends and patrons made me a .jpg of my old blog flames that appears to be perfect in every way, yet I lack the skill to insert it.

So…I think I have answered my own question.

Fuck you, I do what I want. I will continue to take the extra minute and a half to post at all three, and count up the comments on all three in a few weeks, and make my decision then.

Back to square one…


The Poo Containers, They Plot…

February 22, 2006

I hear them there, there in their big brown bag, whispering and giggling. They know they intimidate me, and they can smell fear.

Yes, I have been even more procrastinary than usual, and have put off collecting my Secret Sauce, and yes, I could die from such behavior, but quite frankly I do not care. In fact I believe I’d rather.

Oh, to be sure, I’ll have a good look at my poo, before sending it on it’s way to the Poo Men. Okay, I might poke at it a bit, to uncover some interesting looking treasure, but actually handle it on purpose? Egads. 

Aha! My Mom is a nurse! And she’s both seen my bum and handled my poo before. Of course, it has been awhile.

I am vexed. We have finally found something the wife won’t do for me. Well, that, and let me push in her little hemorrhoid I gave her by virtue of too much, shall we say, enthusiasm on my part. It’s not that she holds it against me, it is more that she refuses to, no matter how I beg. When Gargantua attempts to slip near there, she tenses up, and her hand begins to slide towards the 5 cell Mag-Lite she keeps by her bed.

He and I slink off, bereft, yet she will make no butts about it.

Pity me.

Once again, I did not win the lottery, so I am unable to hire someone to handle my poo for me. Instead a bunch of meat-slinging yahoos and Viet Cong get it.

There goes my investment portifolio…



February 21, 2006

I give up. This is something you’d hire a negroe for. Or me.

I am still not finished with February, and I’ve been at it nearly eight hours. My sinews ring with pain.

I think I write too much. Perhaps if I delete all but one post a week? Keep my favorite? Repair it, and move on?

DAMMIT! I see people, when I am in top form, and I mean LOTS of people, mining my archives for MONTHS of my nattering! I shan’t be able to wipe my own ass at this rate, from the Carpal Tunnel.

Crappitty crap crappitty crap crap. I shall doubtless piddle down my leg, tonight, for being unable to control Gargantua with my weakened, suffering digitii.

Oh, why did I write so much? This is just stupid.

I am highly pisstivitated.


Pity Me!

February 21, 2006

I am just barely through repairing the month of February on my original Blogger blog. My shoulders burn, my eyes water, and my fingers ache.

Yet I will not be bested by this foul demon! Mordor beckons, and the Ring weighs me down, so.

Hold me, Sam, just hold me…


Premature Articulation…

February 21, 2006

I may have spoke too soon. I think maybe my nice shiny new (and free!) McAfee Privacy Suite is blocking the write window of WordPress from opening. I have to turn off all privacy options to blog, now.

Is this worth the aggravation, I ask you? I’m the kind of guy who when a pet gets sick, goes and gets the gun. Why people spend money on their pets, unless it is to save a valuable breeder, is beyond me. Sure, I get sad whenever Ladyfish dies, but geez louise, my ex boss has sunk over $10k into his German Shepherd for hip replacement surgery, among other things. I’d have sunk a bullet into it, long ago.

I even told my parents they better watch it. Anything Medicaire can’t handle, they’re walking out on the ice.

So you can imagine my joy over my sick blogger blog, and at having to click off my privacy to post, and then type in my password each time.

Never make a lazy sociopath reevaluate whether you are worth the effort to pull back into the boat.

Speaking Of Archives…

February 19, 2006

Have you ever seen a grander piece of writing than this?

…have you ever seen a more flagrant piece of propaganda? ‘Palestinian Militants’…that’s like calling Jeff Dahmer a ‘Serial Chef’.

Damn I’m good. I will be sorely vexed if my archives bite it.



I am so annoyed! Somehow, last night, all of my posts on Blogger had all of their formatting removed, and now they are just lumps of words!