Mountains Out Of Dung-Heaps…

February 26, 2003

I was making some toast this morning and I had the TV on in the background.

Fox News was playing Robert Blake’s prelim, and I could give a shit if that turd lives or dies, but my ears pricked up when I heard the Prosecutor ask the M.E. a question about how many autopsies he’d performed.

The M.E. stated that he’d performed “4,500 autopsies, 1,000 of which were gunshot homicides…” Hmmmm….according to the anti-gun zealots, I would have guessed that the gunshot homicides would have been at least 4,499, with the 4,500th having being bludgeoned to death by a gun, or perhaps dieing from the shock of having been shown a picture of a gun.

Could our beloved anti-gun zealots be exaggerating a bit? Now, how about the anti-SUV crowd?

Ooops, there I did it…calling them a crowd. I’ve only heard five or six people talking trash about SUV’s, and here I am making them into a crowd…

See how this works?


Once Bitten, Twice Fried…

February 21, 2003

At least 96 people were killed and 187 hurt after a Rhode Island nightclub erupted in flames during a ‘Great White’ rock concert Thursday night…I guess if you gotta go, half smashed listening to some good metal oldies is better than taking a swim with a Kennedy. I feel a little guilty, though, like when you hear a bus went over a cliff and you think ‘Yikes!’ and then you hear it was migrant farm workers and breathe a sigh of relief. A bunch of RI yuppie Democrats is pretty far down my scale of working up a good give a dang…sorry.

Now, if it would have been a Jim Jeffords fund raiser, I’d be actively celebrating. Instead I’m just annoyed at real news being covered up by the media anal exam they give every trivial story nowadays, though I must admit that the whole live-cam on the scene ‘Firestarter’ re-enactment is pretty cool.

As usual, I wonder what is going on in the real world that is being obscured by this Reality TV Rhode Islander Roast. And I can’t wait for all the crocodile tear ‘memorial’ ceremonies to start…little stacks of flowers, cards, and bears left by well coiffed fakers who are just hoping to get on TV while they pose for the cameras.

Ever notice how their mascara never runs, these pseudo-snifflers? And the cameramen, bored, always oblige by filming the hotties as they pose by the ‘makeshift’ memorial. Heck, go give those bears and flowers to some sick little kids in a hospital, these folks are just ash tray filling, now.

If someone wants to start a fund for those burn victims, though, mark me down for a donation, that shit hurts. If it were me in that hospital, I’d be begging someone to OD me with a tube of street H before I had to endure any more pain, and then spend the rest of my life looking like a fallen souffle’.

Oh, well, I’ve spent enough time grieving over this…