This Is The Way You Do It!!
Fuckin A! I’ve faced Death enough times to know that I, too, will piss in his eye when the time comes.
The Wops have had shitty luck in battle pretty much since Romulus and Remus died, but I have always admired their fire and verve.
Truthfully, though, you shove a gun in my face to take me hostage, and we are going to settle the matter right then and there, one way or another. And I will shoot through my wife or kid to get to you if you make me, I promise.
If someone pulls a weapon on you, assume that A) they intend to kill you so you’ve got nothing to lose and B) they are offering you that weapon, and it has become your duty to take it from them and kill or mutilate them with it. Ignore any loud noises and irrelavant feedback from your nerve endings, until the job at hand is complete.
Hint: Go ask your local butcher for a dozen or so fresh eyeballs, pig if you can get them. Practice cupping them in one palm, and popping your thumbs and fingers into them til you hit jelly.
This also works well if you get a rack of outdated ribs (pork, again) and a big fat roast. Tie the ribs around the roast, and then tie butchers paper around the whole thing (no fair seeing the ribs and trying to avoid them on purpose).
Now, get your favorite combat carry knife (you don’t carry a knife at all times? Fag…) and stab that meat pak one handed, with your off hand, too. If it didn’t penetrate to your knuckles, and withdraw easily, get a new knife.
Here’s a fixed blade that will remove a head in less than three cuts.
If you’re not serious about staying alive, shut up and die.