Angelina Jolie…

They should not even bother putting her in a movie with any plot or substance. All I can think about is wanting to hump her…the camera focuses on those lips and I miss several lines of dialogue.

That being said, ‘Taking Lives’ is a fine movie, though I couldn’t tell you half the dialogue. Some little chick engaged me in an animated conversation outside the theatre after, going on about the various plot twists and such and asking me if I’d enjoyed it and since I had to pee and wanted to disengage I told her that I hadn’t noticed very much because of Angelina’s lips and breasts and she thought that was cute. I honestly think she would have shagged me if I’d asked her to. Weird, since she couldn’t have been a day over twenty.
It was one of the rare movies where I couldn’t predict the ending half way through, and write the dialogue as it falls out of their mouths. And, as I told that chick, the ending caught me completely by surprise.

And why do chicks dig Ethan Hawke? The pot-eared fairy doesn’t even have any earlobes. Watching his skinny little ass hump Angelina Jolie was like seeing a rat terrier hunching on the doorman’s leg…oops! Sorry.

Let’s jump to television: I told you I was going to watch the premier of ‘Wonder Falls’ on FOX last week, after watching ‘Joan of Arcadia’. ‘Joan of Arcadia’ is a sweet, virginal story that brings my wife and I genuine joy every week. ‘Wonder Falls’ is the jealous sister, a painted whore who can’t live up to her sisters standards, so she becomes a garish, overly painted imitation.

That being said, it is a good enough show, and I enjoyed it well enough to watch it again this week. My wife refused. She objected to the gratuitous lesbian subplot, and the outright pagan aspects of the story. It is true that the show is flagrantly trying to copy ‘Joan of Arcadia’, but without all of that yucky, uncomfortable, judgemental God stuff. ‘Wonder Falls’ wants all the glory, but doesn’t have a clue of what a soul is, or how to get one. It is like Al Franken imagining for even a moment that he can be as good or popular as Rush Limbaugh.

Otherwise, the season is in reruns, there is no football (other that that vile ‘arena’ crap which I refuse to watch), so life is hardly worth living. I am off the wagon…well, hanging on to the tailgate and being drug by it, anyway. Go to a specialty liquor store and try to find a beer called ‘Skull Splitter’. It’s my new favorite.


Ethan Hawke, Cunt, or Big Vagina? You be the judge…:

I just saw him interviewed on a show where the theme was identity theft (a major theme of his latest movie, ‘Taking Lives’)…

They asked him “If you could be anyone you wanted, who would you be?”

His answer?

“I would wanna be George Bush…I’d fire all of my Cabinet, and then I’d resign…”

Another ‘Hollywood Colostomy Bag’ I shall never watch again. Ever.

Uh, wait a minute…he is in the remake of the upcoming ‘Assault On Precinct 13’…

Fuck. That is high on my favorites list. Damn. Tough to remain pure, ain’t it?

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