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On Swearing…

I believe it to be the musical accompaniment to speech. Even apes, taught to sign, swear.

The same hypocrites that decry swearing, will turn around and praise Winston Churchill’s eloquence, apparently ignorant of his place high up the pantheon of truly profane speakers.

I think most people confuse Profanity with it’s bastard cousin, Vulgarity. While there is a place for vulgarity, the use of Precision Guided Profanity is where the art form of combat adjectivism shines.

For instance, I am hearing reports right now where journalists are describing a hotel in Baghdad as having been “blown up”. How pedestrian. Much more effective had it been “blown all to fuck and gone”, or even “blew the fucking dogshit out of it…”, to combine both profanity and vulgarity in a savory stew of verbal spew.

Am I worried that children may run across my screed? Fukkem. The internet ain’t for kids, folks, no matter how Gore tried to handjob you on that.
There’s plenty of CD/DVD software out there for the little darlings to research and plagiarize to their hearts content in order to complete their milquetoast school projects.

Women try to play like they don’t swear. Hah. I’m too much of a gentleman to say anything more than hah! False gentlemanliness might help some of these prudish men (who decry swearing) forget that, at some point, their own mother was on her back, heels kicking in the air as she shreiked the F Word and cried out to her diety of choice.

Swearing may not be for everybody. If you can barely cook, you should perhaps use caution with the seasoning. Folks who can hardly create a coherent sentence, should maybe get a good Websters before they invest in a Dictionary of American Slang.

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