The Manchurian Candidate…

If I only had one bullet left, and both John Fonda Kerry and John ‘Fuck America’ McCain lurched into my kill zone, I would probably have to use the bullet on myself in frustration. Hearing that McCain would consider running with Kerry has a certain terrible symmetry that clearly defines this political season.

My above bullet scenario is the clinical definition of stress. Those two are like Hitler and Goebbels, Hannibal and ‘The Tooth Fairy’, Uday and Qusay. How can their Secret Service detail handle the stress of having a fully loaded firearm in their possession and Anti-Christs 1 & 2 within easy pistol shot? If I’m the guy with the trench coat and the MP5, there is going to be a tragic accident, and a black mark on my permanent record.
BRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!! “Oh, excuse me!…Dammit!!…I am so sorry!!” Hopefully, I would be then punished by being assigned to Nancy Pelosi’s detail, or Carol Mostly-Brown, or Chuck ‘The Fuck’ Schumer. No point in getting on Teddy Kennedy’s detail, since elephant guns aren’t standard Secret Service issue.

Is it still legal in America to wish death to certain venereal disease cultures who are currently infesting the body politic? I mean, really, really, really wish? Really truly, fantasy jerkoff wish?

My hatred of Jimmy Carter now seems as quaint and poignant as my childhood hatred of brussel sprouts, or of having to take a nap. I now understand and empathise with the DU Types hatred of President Bush, because of the utter contempt and hatred I hold for scrotal cheese drippings like Kerry and McCain, and other commie-symp puke-rrhoids from the boll-weevil Left.

A political loss this time around is serious, not just trading one asshole for another, which has been the quo of our status since Eisenhower. No, this time, a loss to the Dark Forces of the Dhimmocrat Party would be the equivalent of watching your barricaded front door burst in under the weight of the hungry undead, and watching helplessly as they tear the flesh out of your children’s throats with their dead black teeth.

For all of Bush’s manifest faults, a vote for anybody other than Bush (in fact, a straight Republican ticket vote except for RARE exceptions like Zell Miller) should, in a perfect world, earn you a knitting needle up your nose, stirred briskly around in your fore-brain.

You weren’t using it, anyway.

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