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Best Movies, Ever…

Over at Right Thinking, they are nattering on about their choices for best movies ever.

Well, the BEST movie is easy, Night of the Comet… and I will now present my list in no particular order:

Anything by Ridley Scott; ‘Blade Runner’, ‘Alien’, ‘Legend’, etc.

Almost anything by Luc Besson, especially ‘The Fifth Element’.

‘LOTR 1-3’ and anything else from Peter Jackson, except ‘Dead Alive’, which showed promise, but which was both stupid and annoying.

‘Nosferatu’, both old and new. Seminal vampire flick.

‘The Usual Suspects’, and just about anything with Kevin Spacey in it, but not ‘Seven’, which I hated on so many levels that I want to knife people in the video store whom I see handling the box.

‘The Crow’, and anything with Brandon Lee in it. I miss him. Oh, and anything with Dolph Lundgren in it, especially ‘I Come In Peace’, also one of my favorite movies ever, and where I first learned to hate Brian Benben.

‘Gladiator’, and anything with Russell Crowe in it.

‘A Boy and His Dog’, perhaps my second favorite movie, and Don Johnson also wowed me in ‘Dead Bang’, which contains the second best puke scene ever after ‘Brewster Mcloud’, which had the best puke scene ever and is a movie everybody should see at least once…and in the weird movie department, that includes ‘Steelyard Blues’ and ‘Morgan’…oldies but goodies, if you can still find them.

‘Rollerball’…the one with James Caan, and while we’re talking about James Caan, anything with James Caan in it, especially ‘The Killer Elite’, which brings us to my Favorite Director:

Sam Peckinpah, unless it is in any movie with Warren Oates as the lead male actor. I worship Sam Peckinpah with a fierceness, and I believe he spawned my second favorite director of all time:

Paul Verhoeven, whose masterpiece ‘Robocop’ is only matched by the equally great ‘Starship Troopers’. His ‘Flesh & Blood’ may be my third or fourth favorite movie, ever.

‘Akira’ for best animated film sans CGI, with just about any Japanime vampire stuff a close second.

‘Red Dawn’, by the almost always superb John Milius.

‘Reservoir Dogs’, and anything else Tarantino The Great puts his hand to, except for ‘Dusk To Dawn’, which I hated.

‘The Good, The Bad and the Ugly’, and anything else Clint Eastwood has appeared in or directed up to ‘Mystic River’, which I will never ever pollute my eyes with.

I mostly can’t stand war movies. They tend to be fake, from the gasoline intensive explosions, to the fake gung ho bullshit.
A notable exception is ‘Kelly’s Heroes’, on my list as the best war movie, ever. Ever. Shut the fuck up, I said ever. Followed closely by ‘Cross of Iron’. Any war movie has to meet or exceed those two’s standards to make it on my list.

Then, ‘Catch-22’, ‘A Bridge Too Far’, ‘The Longest Day’, ‘Saving Private Ryan’, ‘Band of Brothers’, and ‘Tobruk’, even though it was fag-infested. I didn’t know it at the time, so it makes the list.

I wouldn’t wipe my ass with ‘Patton’, so don’t even try it.

I loved ‘Funny Girl’ and ‘Pretty Woman’…I don’t care! Shut up!

Stanley Kubrick gets a (tepid) honorable mention for ‘2001’ (in my top 20) and ‘A Clockwork Orange’, which I still enjoy ever so often. How he got such kudos for such a small body of rather mediocre work I’ll never understand. I did enjoy ‘Dr Strangelove’, but ‘The Shining’ was truly amateurish and awful. I liked the made for TV version far better, and that’s saying something. ‘Full Metal Jacket’? Meh, okay, but not on my list of favorites by any means.

I could make a whole nother list of my favorite Sci-Fi and Horror movies, which tends to be what I gravitate towards. I am highly anticipating the coming ‘Van Helsing’ flic…hope it doesn’t piss me off.

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