Saving For Posterioriarity, Part Deux…

Here’s another gem from this comment section that I would hate to see get swept under the archival rug:

My little boy has shoes that sparkle with light when he walks…it was fun to watch the chimps working security at the airport deal with that…and he thought the wand was so cool that he kept spinning around to watch as the chimp tried to wand him, and of course he’d stuffed 14 different pockets full of Hot Wheels so the wand was hooting and beeping all over the place.
I have tears streaming down my cheeks from watching this and laughing so hard, and behind me my wife is going into a frenzy because my 3 year old daughter won’t let anybody take her doll from her to put through the x-ray machine, so I help by telling her “Honey, they wanna cook your baby!” and she comes unglued and finally the chimps, realizing that we are all blond, blue-eyed American types, and being singularly tired of this particular family, wave us through.
My daughter is clutching her baby to her chest and handing out free “fuck you!” looks to everybody as she passes them…they’re lucky, cuz she’s going through a biting stage.

(Some genius responds) You did hear about the toy gun in the Teddy Bear, right?

I riposte:

Duh. And the doll went through, that’s when I told her they were cooking it. She wouldn’t stop giving the damn thing fluids from her ‘magic’ juice bottle…even tried to snipe some of Daddy’s drink to help the little thing. Morbid little twat kills her babies all the time, then prays to God to bring them back to life and then nurses them back to health. Another reason I’m not down with church.

Talk about your Munchausen-By Proxy…

True stories of the Bane Clan…

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