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I present this to you, unedited, for your edification, warts and all. A fellow calling himself Dodgeman wrote answers that intrigued me…

1. Do you have a personal hero? If so, who is it?

not really, never studied anyone in enough detail to trust them as a hero.
As a role model I pick my own father, don’t suck up to anyone, be
self-sufficient, and most of the time don’t be too damn serious.

2. What is your favorite book of all time and what made it so good?

Flashman at the Charge – whole series of books about a cowardly,
back-stabbing slut of an Englishman who fucked his way through most wars of
the 19th century. With footnotes from real sources. Read it in high
school, great contrast to the textbook history I was learning. by George
McDonald Fraser

3. What does “diversity” mean to you?

reverse discrimination. At this point in our history anyway.

4. What is the wildest thing you’ve ever done?

Participate in a gang bang? [Ed Note: One would hope that the bangee was a voluntary participant] Or go down to Boy’s Town in Mexico and screw hookers? Or the taxi ride back from Boy’s Town, across a field in a 20 year old LTD, with cops shooting at us? Or scream FU at pimps in downtown Austin and then race 120 mph past the Capital Bldg with a car load of gang members on your tail? Take your pick.

5. Do you regret doing it?

Since I never got caught, No.

6. Can you drive a stick shift?

1st vehicle was ’63 Ford truck, straight 6 with 3 speed on column. 2nd, ’65 Dodge, 440 magnum with 4 on floor. Damn straight I can drive a stick.

6a. what’s the highest speed you ever traveled in a car?

Had that ‘65 pegged at 120+ with the tach at 5000 rpm, then wound it out to 6500 rpm. Quick calc put us in excess of 140 mph but can’t verify. Had a Honda V65 bike at 140 also. And yes, I’m always driving.

7. What’s your favorite movie ever?

The Road Warrior

8. Your least favorite movie?

Some shit with Sean Penn and Travolta’s wife, couldn’t finish it. Don’t remember name.

9. Which is scarier: snakes or spiders?

Snakes

10. What is the most disgusting thing you ever ate?

Fish head soup.

11. Did you puke?

no, but I made sure to eat plenty just so I didn’t look like a wuss to the Orientals at the table. That and the fucking KimChi or whatever Korean shit they had.

12. Was losing your virginity an enjoyable experience?

Not as much as I thought it should have been. Being slightly more sober would’va helped.

13. Should oral sex be outlawed or encouraged?

encouraged if I’m the recipient.

14. Name one man with a fine ass.

Couldn’t begin to tell you, some things I just don’t notice

15. Name one woman with a fine ass.

The little sister of every woman I’ve ever dated. What the hell is it where I always date the older, slightly less slutty of any sister pair?

16. Now, did that make you feel like a homo?

No. Perverted, yes.

17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

more in control of temper. Tendency to yell doesn’t always make the situation better. (sometimes it does, strangely enough. My wife says certain people are scared of me, to which I respond – good, they should be scared.)

18. What do you do when a stranger makes you angry?

middle finger is usually appropriate.

19. What scares you the most, phobia-wise?

snakes, and being tied up.

20. If you rode a motorcycle, would you wear a helmet even if the law said you didn‘t have to?

Yes, most of the time.

21. Name two great Presidents (five was just too hard).

George Washington
Teddy Roosevelt
Ronald Reagan
2nd Bush

22. Name three shitty Presidents.

U. S. Grant
Woodrow Wilson
Clinton

FDR makes both lists – he won WWII, but fucked us on social programs and wussed out on the Commies.

23. If you could be president for one day, and could only achieve one thing, what would that be?

Bang all the interns? Nuke Korea? I’m thinking here ….

24. If someone gave you a magic button you could press and one person of your choice would cease to exist, who would you choose and why?

Damn, I used to have a list. Seriously, it’s on my old computer. But it’s not updated. My wife’s ex-mother-in-law caused quite a bit of problems during the first several years of our marriage with child custody lawsuits. Course she’s over 70 now so that might be a waste of the button. Any number of lawyers I’ve met, but none recently. Guess I would edicate it to world peace and take out that fuckhead in North Korea. Then in #23 I could bang all the interns …. cool.

25. If you could have dinner and conversation with anyone in the history of the planet, who would you choose?

Well, any number of people I know would put Jesus Christ. But I’m thinking Judas might be a better choice. I mean we have the Bible for Jesus’ take on things, might be interesting to hear Judas for a change. Or screw it, Mary Magdalene, especially if you could get a little after dinner action.

later

Dodgeman

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