August 30, 2003

Saturday Night At The Movies…

Here’s another movie you must see, and go read the book by John Wyndam first (who also wrote ‘The Midwich Cuckoo’s’, later adapted into Christopher Reeve’s last movie)…

‘The Day Of The Triffids’ (1963)…this movie is seminal, like Sam Clemen’s book ‘Huckleberry Finn’ was to literature…you will see (if you have the eyes) almost every movie that has scared you since you learned how to use a remote.

Triffid’s, like Gene Barry’s ‘War of the Worlds’, is ‘Must See’ sci-fi ….

Get on it.


August 29, 2003

I see that Roger Ebert has given Jeepers Creepers 2 only one star. I intend to see it today or tomorrow, but I hazarded a look at his review, anyway. Shouldn’t be a problem with Spoilers, since the previews seem to show pretty much every scary bit from the move. Anyway, in Ebert’s first paragraph, I see what earned the one star, and I quit reading. It seems one of the charachter’s is ‘homophobic’, a state which Ebert says means that the charachter in question must, himself, be a closeted homosexual. Sigh. How predictable. The movie may be better than I’d hoped…

Jeepers Creepers 1 is one of those movies that could have been great, but slipped off the runway and nosedived into being a piece of crap. Sad. As usual, if I had been consulted before release, I could have made it great. Pump up the music, do some better, creepier editing of existing scenes, reshoot a few critical moments, and trim down several scenes that dragged on and bogged down the flick.
All that being said, it is still worth renting if you like horror, a good female charachter, and are thinking about seeing Creepers 2.
I have hopes for Creepers 2…I’ll let you know.

What a great movie! I was so pleasantly surprised! Everything I said above about music and editing…they must have heard me, because it was really really tight, and a darn good story, too. Fuck Roger Ebert. As I watched the credits roll, I couldn’t help but notice that Francis Ford Coppola had Executive Produced it…and it showed. Go see this movie! I could have done with a bit more horror, but they used good directoral tricks to fuck with your head, so I forgave them. If she likes horror movies, this would be a great first date movie.


August 26, 2003

I love the daily countdown the talking heads give us of our dead in Iraq. They always put this special tone to their voice, a kind of sublingual statement you can just hear sussurating under their words…it whispers “George Bush is getting these boys killed…”…
That we the people give these out and out traitors one minute of our listening time causes me quite a bit of shame.
I don’t want to be embarrassed to be called an American…isn’t there any way to shut these naysayers up? Fuck the First Amendment. Lincoln suspended Habeus Corpus, why can’t we suspend the First Amendment during this time of war?

If anybody has ever wondered what World War III was going to look like…uh, take a look around.


August 18, 2003

I present this to you, unedited, for your edification, warts and all. A fellow calling himself Dodgeman wrote answers that intrigued me…

1. Do you have a personal hero? If so, who is it?

not really, never studied anyone in enough detail to trust them as a hero.
As a role model I pick my own father, don’t suck up to anyone, be
self-sufficient, and most of the time don’t be too damn serious.

2. What is your favorite book of all time and what made it so good?

Flashman at the Charge – whole series of books about a cowardly,
back-stabbing slut of an Englishman who fucked his way through most wars of
the 19th century. With footnotes from real sources. Read it in high
school, great contrast to the textbook history I was learning. by George
McDonald Fraser

3. What does “diversity” mean to you?

reverse discrimination. At this point in our history anyway.

4. What is the wildest thing you’ve ever done?

Participate in a gang bang? [Ed Note: One would hope that the bangee was a voluntary participant] Or go down to Boy’s Town in Mexico and screw hookers? Or the taxi ride back from Boy’s Town, across a field in a 20 year old LTD, with cops shooting at us? Or scream FU at pimps in downtown Austin and then race 120 mph past the Capital Bldg with a car load of gang members on your tail? Take your pick.

5. Do you regret doing it?

Since I never got caught, No.

6. Can you drive a stick shift?

1st vehicle was ’63 Ford truck, straight 6 with 3 speed on column. 2nd, ’65 Dodge, 440 magnum with 4 on floor. Damn straight I can drive a stick.

6a. what’s the highest speed you ever traveled in a car?

Had that ‘65 pegged at 120+ with the tach at 5000 rpm, then wound it out to 6500 rpm. Quick calc put us in excess of 140 mph but can’t verify. Had a Honda V65 bike at 140 also. And yes, I’m always driving.

7. What’s your favorite movie ever?

The Road Warrior

8. Your least favorite movie?

Some shit with Sean Penn and Travolta’s wife, couldn’t finish it. Don’t remember name.

9. Which is scarier: snakes or spiders?


10. What is the most disgusting thing you ever ate?

Fish head soup.

11. Did you puke?

no, but I made sure to eat plenty just so I didn’t look like a wuss to the Orientals at the table. That and the fucking KimChi or whatever Korean shit they had.

12. Was losing your virginity an enjoyable experience?

Not as much as I thought it should have been. Being slightly more sober would’va helped.

13. Should oral sex be outlawed or encouraged?

encouraged if I’m the recipient.

14. Name one man with a fine ass.

Couldn’t begin to tell you, some things I just don’t notice

15. Name one woman with a fine ass.

The little sister of every woman I’ve ever dated. What the hell is it where I always date the older, slightly less slutty of any sister pair?

16. Now, did that make you feel like a homo?

No. Perverted, yes.

17. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

more in control of temper. Tendency to yell doesn’t always make the situation better. (sometimes it does, strangely enough. My wife says certain people are scared of me, to which I respond – good, they should be scared.)

18. What do you do when a stranger makes you angry?

middle finger is usually appropriate.

19. What scares you the most, phobia-wise?

snakes, and being tied up.

20. If you rode a motorcycle, would you wear a helmet even if the law said you didn‘t have to?

Yes, most of the time.

21. Name two great Presidents (five was just too hard).

George Washington
Teddy Roosevelt
Ronald Reagan
2nd Bush

22. Name three shitty Presidents.

U. S. Grant
Woodrow Wilson

FDR makes both lists – he won WWII, but fucked us on social programs and wussed out on the Commies.

23. If you could be president for one day, and could only achieve one thing, what would that be?

Bang all the interns? Nuke Korea? I’m thinking here ….

24. If someone gave you a magic button you could press and one person of your choice would cease to exist, who would you choose and why?

Damn, I used to have a list. Seriously, it’s on my old computer. But it’s not updated. My wife’s ex-mother-in-law caused quite a bit of problems during the first several years of our marriage with child custody lawsuits. Course she’s over 70 now so that might be a waste of the button. Any number of lawyers I’ve met, but none recently. Guess I would edicate it to world peace and take out that fuckhead in North Korea. Then in #23 I could bang all the interns …. cool.

25. If you could have dinner and conversation with anyone in the history of the planet, who would you choose?

Well, any number of people I know would put Jesus Christ. But I’m thinking Judas might be a better choice. I mean we have the Bible for Jesus’ take on things, might be interesting to hear Judas for a change. Or screw it, Mary Magdalene, especially if you could get a little after dinner action.




August 9, 2003

German prisoners, captured during WWII, held their cigarettes with shaking fingers as they recounted how frightening it was to watch US soldiers come at them…dying, being cut in half by machine gun and rifle fire, still they kept coming…silently, remorselessly, and without mercy…”other soldiers…the British…the French…even the Russians, would charge us yelling and screaming, playing bugles even, but these Americans, they just keep coming, killing…killing…” one German officer, his arm in a sling, eyes haggard, recounting his personal nightmare. Other German soldiers around him nodded their heads in agreement, their eyes staring far away into their own bad dreams…

I read today of Iraqi tribesmen, complaining about how our boys, after taking RPG and AK fire, arrest them and put their boots on their heads and grind their faces into the dirt while another GI zip-ties their hands…these tribesmen swear revenge, and vow to kill more American soldiers for the insult…illiterate as they are about everything else, they are doomed to relearn the lesson those Aryan Supermen learned. We will keep coming at you…we will kill you all if we have to…we will kill, arrest, and imprison anyone who gets in our way…until you are dead, or contemplating your nightmares after ignominious surrender. Please fight, O Tribesmen…be brave! Allah is counting on you to avenge our insult to you!

Bring it on…