I took the e-harmony dating site’s personality test the other day. I was utterly honest, except I lied and said I was divorced (they don’t set up cheaters). They told me that I was getting a $50 personality/compatability test for free, which was a good thing, because very shortly after submitting my answers to their test, I got this terse email informing me that I was not compatible with anybody in their service. Hmmmm, go figure. Nobody? No hair-lipped one-legged retards? No South Slavonian dog-slobberers? Geez, I think my feelings are hurt.

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