Dateline Sunday: The Shuttle Astronauts Are Still Dead!

There may be one or two people in the Amazon Rainforest, or on the steppes of Outer Mongolia who do not know this as yet, but everybody else on the planet, every minute of the day since yesterday morning, is absolutely sure that our shuttle exploded, creating a scattering of debris and deep-fried astronaut parts across the southern end of the North American continent.
I wonder if the family of the dead Israeli astronaut felt any better watching Billy Bob and Joe Bob and their dog wandering around the still smoking crash site yesterday. Do you think maybe King found himself a barbecued kosher snack?
Billy Bob: King, you drop that there rib bone raht now!

King: Grrrrrr….

Joe Bob: He means it yew dumass dawg, spit thet out raht now!!

King: Grrrr….snack…grrr…chomp…

Billy Bob: Sheeit, Joe Bob, I feel like shit warmed over, let’s go breathe sum more uh thet there smoke…

Joe Bob: Hey, looky here! Sum dum sumbitch dropped they moto-sicle hel-mutt!!

Billy Bob: Mine!…

Joe Bob: Mine…I done saw it furst! King! Quit a-sniffen around in muh new hel-mutt!! Whas thet you got there? Ewwww, now g’wan boy, you spit that out!…

Last I checked, Jews feel that dogs are unclean animals, and having one prance around, possibly lifting it’s leg and peeing…and yes, possibly even snacking on the kosher corpus of a loved one must be especially horrifying.
Lost in all of this are the three poor bastards up in the International Space Station looking down…. ‘Fuck!!! Ah Double-Fuck!! There goes our fucking ride! Oh, we are so fucked!!’

I want to see their videos on the NASA channel now.

Oh, screw you…I cried when I saw what happened yesterday, but frigging move on already! How many babies have died in car crashes in the last 48 hours? How many babies have been aborted and rendered into component, salable parts?
I never take news coverage too seriously, but puh-lease, give me a frigging break already…

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